Thursday, June 2, 2011

Still on the TOS path...

I can do more than before, but not without consequence.
The stern speech my surgeon gave me about "Not doing repetitive arm motion, or overhead, or heavy lifting or else..." runs through my head every time I pick up the pruning clippers, or pull down on the garage door, or push-mow around the house.

Believe me, I pay for doing those things with increased inflamation and pain.
But life goes on and things need doing.

The side I had the resection feels good.
The side that still needs it feels tight inside-which would only make sense to a fellow TOSer. It's achey, lightly throbby, comes and goes.
It is liveable for now.
I just DREAD having that surgery (most especially the recovery) again.

I think about an elderly woman I cared for once, back when I did home-caregiving.
She'd had knee surgery years before, and it was striking to me the difference.
Her knee that had been operated on was great, held her weight, gave her no pain, no trouble. Her other knee however, was a constant source of pain and kept her from enjoying life.
"I should've had it taken care of years ago like my other knee", she told me one day.
"I know I should have, but I just didn't want to and now what's the use, I'm too old for that."

Yes, that moment, that conversation, that vision of her two knees, one good, one so painful that kept her from living...it runs through my mind when my arm/neck throbs.

I know....I know.