Friday, February 20, 2009

Chasing after peace

I left the doctors office last week just amazed. I felt ready to go ahead with surgery.
I didn't understand all the docs medical terminology, but I have alot of confidence
in this man who believes he can greatly improve my physical situation.

I came home and started ravenously looking up information about rib resection surgery, its methods and possible complications. I saw actual surgery pictures that made my stomach turn.

I ran across one womans story that was similar to my own.
Her neck was her main TOS symptom, arms too.
She submitted her story four months post-op, said it gave her life back to her.

I felt such peace after reading that.
This is my answer.
I want my life back too. OK then.

I went forward for prayer last Sunday at church.
Our pastor called anyone who was struggling with something to come up for prayer.
It was a mass exodus to the front of the church. The prayer acknowledged that God is in control. I left feeling peaceful.

Today, the peace is hovering out of reach.
The questions and uncertainty and fear are all I see.
I just don't know.

I'm probably just over-thinking the whole thing.
Next week I give the doc thumbs up or down on the go ahead.
I'll letcha know how it goes...the saga of my life.

Copyright 2009 R.W.

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