Tuesday, June 9, 2009

Healing takes time...and determination!

Over the past 10 months, I have been in a season of needing to gather resources, protect myself, learn, question, try to understand what TOS is doing to my body, and my life. The resources of forums and online support groups have been informative and so helpful. Some fellow TOS'ers have befriended me and been so encouraging to chat with because they understand the complexities of what we deal with.

But so much pain is expressed there, on the forums.
So much.

Now that I am experienced with TOS and surgery and it's results...
Now that I've read the articles, and chatted with fellow TOS'ers through my immediate postop healing crisis...

I don't want to be one of those people who just 'use' the forum or the people there who have befriended me.
I am not one of those people.
However, I struggle with feeling less hope instead of more each time I revisit.

I need to focus on continuing to heal.
Each person who deals with TOS has to do what is best for themself.
I don't need any more excuses in my life to feel depressed.I want to move forward, not stay stuck in "I can't live my life because of TOS" mode.
I want to have a story of hope that things can get better to share.
Even if it means a rearranged mindset and acceptance of some limitations imposed by TOS.

I've lost count, it's been 9 weeks since rib resection now.
I dont feel like anything has changed the last 3 weeks at all.
Occasional zinger electrical arm pains now post op that I didnt have before surgery.
Presurgery throbbing gone, but chest discomfort, back knife jabbers, neck pain all continue at low levels with occasional flare ups.
Only taking otc pain meds as needed...usually 1-2x daily.
My poor liver-it could be worse.
No more sling-hurts to hang down, but its bugging my shoulder to sling.

Doc gives me shoulder mri report tomorrow-and probably a pass to some other doc I am to in a hurry to go see.
I need some time.

Thats the scoop.

No comments: