Thursday, July 23, 2009

Once again

A few not too bad days, light throbbing of the shoulders, back and left arm. Bearable.
Today my neck is locking up, I'm back on muscle relaxers. I feel so incredibly dumpy, tired, and out of it.
The weight gained all residing on my chest is doing my arms, shoulders and back absolutely no favors. The self-esteem is pretty shot today.

What good am I to my family when this pain saps my energy and ability to function so unpredictably?
There is too much to do for me to be out of commission.
Yet here I am, blogging for this brief moment about my reality because this is something I can control, something I can do, something I feel good about contributing.
Even this has it's limits, since the posture required for desk work and being on the computer don't do my neck any favors either.
I nap, reach for a chocolate bar, more coffee, nothing makes me feel any better.
It is what it is, and today it makes me sad.
I pray for God to hold onto me.
"Though I'm faithless, still He (God) remains faithful." II Timothy 2:13
I have found that scripture to be true in the past.
I need it to continue to be true, now more than ever.

No comments: