Stop the TOS bus, I want off.

I titled this blog Redheads TOS Journey with the idea in mind that life is a journey, and if you keep moving, you never know what is just ahead, around the corner or out of sight-but it is up there waiting for you. Keep on moving forward, one step at a time, yes, lugging baggage along with you, but moving forward nonetheless.

Can I just say, after dealing with this for so long, and then learning my children have this baggage to carry through life as well, watching them suffer...I am over the metaphore.
Give me a chair to sit in, enough moving forward bullcrap. I just want to not think about what I can't or shouldn't do because it will make my pain flare up. I want to not have to be mindful and aware-I want to not think about TOS, or tests or doctors or surgery.
I want to just stop. I want to dump this crummy baggage.