Would I have rib resection surgery again - ??

Maybe.
I would seek a second opinon from someone who removes the cervical rib...especially since my daughters first rib grew back-entirely, and all wonky, and all three of us had pretty much the exact same surgery and have had symptoms return.

The specific physical therapy I've had this past year has been so helpful that I think If I'd had good p.t. 5 years ago (with someone specializing in neck trauma who knows TOS) I probably would not have had the surgery.

Because for me, with surgery-which was somewhat helpful, I also now have new complications-mostly from the missing neck muscle taken with the first rib.
So if I'd had good p.t years ago, instead of bad p.t...then maybe no, I would not have had surgery to have my first rib removed through my armpit.
To be clear, all three of us are thankful for the surgeon who did our resections. At the time, surgery was our best hope. We didn't know any different, didn't know of any options, and it did improve things, somewhat.,.for a while.

The journey with TOS goes on.

Fellow TOSers, Don't hang in there, & Gentle hugs~

Our experience with postop pain pump

Each of the three of us had a pain pump we went home with postop. A simple gravity fed pump attached to tubing that was inserted in tiny incision under the arm. It had a strap and we pinned it on our shirt to prevent it from falling.  It looked something like this, thought I do not know the exact brand.

It provided glorious pain relief for the first 48 hours after going home, morphine I believe.
 A friend who is a nurse came over and removed it because I was squeamish, but I could do it now that I've seen and experienced it.

Highly recommended.

My tips for TOS surgery recovery

-Pain meds. Be SURE you have enough pain meds before you leave the hospital to last at the very least one to two weeks...but preferably longer. Do not leave the hospital without sufficient pain meds for your recovery-which I have heard of happening. I also highly recommend nausea meds. (Zofran)

-My surgeon recommended B vitamins to help with nerve healing.

-Both my kids who had resections and myself all lived and slept in the recliner for the first couple weeks. *Make sure the footrest handle is on the opposite side of the side you are getting resected-you will not be able to maneuver a lever with your resected arm! Laying flat was difficult. A wedge pillow is nice, or at the very least lots of pillows to prop yourself up in bed or on the couch!

-Have a notepad and pen handy to write down every time you take any med, and also write down the next time you can take that med. Trust me, this is a good idea!

-Freezer meals, and lots of easy snacks- plan ahead meals for at least two weeks, longer of you can.

-Have movies to watch, books to read stocked up. My daughter says not movies that are too funny because laughing hurts for a couple weeks postop.  My son played video games for two weeks postop, which I think got him moving his hand more. You will be naturally tired, your body is working really hard while you heal and meds may add to that tiredness. But you need to take it easy and if you have tv, movies, video games, magazines, or books its a nice distraction.

-Lemon water, real lemon juice-two-three tablespoons in a glass of water, hot or cold as often as you can is good for keeping kidneys working with all the meds you will need for a while. Lots of liquids are important for healing.

-Magnesium capsules, helps keep your bowel movements naturally regular and is also a natural muscle relaxant. Constipation from pain meds is common, so stool softeners, drink smoothies with added ground flax or citrucel, whatever helps keep things moving.

-A speaker phone, or earpiece for your phone so you don't have to hold the phone up to your head.

-Help. If you can line up help with housework and even with showering and personal assistance for a few weeks you will be glad you did. At a minimum get help for the first week at home even if it's just someone checking on you once a day.

-Loose button or snap front shirts, easy pull-on pants, slip on shoes. Loose zipup exercise jacket with front pockets-in case you leave hospital with drain or morphine pump you can stick it in the pocket. Three weeks postop I bought a strapless tube bra at Walmart for $5 so I had enough support to feel comfortable leaving the house. I highly recommend the strapless bra by Marena.

-A driver. If you have follow-up appointments postop, you will not be driving for a minimum of two weeks, I couldn't drive for several weeks postop.

-Ice packs. Bags of frozen peas in a ziplock or a ziplock bag with 1 cup water and 4 tablespoons rubbing alcohol make good ice packs.

-Easy hair. I do not recommend pony tails as that tilts the head forward when you are resting, also hard to put up with one hand.

-I found a shower seat at a yard sale, it was very handy the first couple times I showered postop as I was SO tired.

-A squeeze bottle filled with water to squirt clean yourself after using the bathroom, or moist wipes.

-An arm sling- for when you leave the house to protect yourself from people who may want to hug you, and to keep you from overtaxing your arm if you are out and about.

-My daughters recommendation, a handheld shower sprayer, makes it a lot easier to shower especially if you don't have a lot of help.

-Tv tray to keep drinks, remote, beverages close at hand.

-Avoid sneezing at all costs for a few weeks-plug your nose, avoid sneezing triggers!

-Do not carry or lift anything remotely heavy. Break things down to smaller sizes, half gallons of milk or smaller, single servings.

-Do not allow pets to jump up on your chest postop, get help with pet care for a couple weeks if you can.

-An alarm, to wake you to take medication on time. You do not want to oversleep and miss a pain med dose and wake up in agony!

-Chocolate of some kind...very soothing :)

So how are things? Four years later...

I'm so glad I've kept this record of what it was like for me to go through rib resection and healing postop. My four year resection anniversary had me going back to refresh my memory of what I was feeling and experiencing at this time four years ago.
*See new, 4 year postop, pictures at the end of this post. To compare, see postop pictures from 2009 here.

It's interesting to go back and re-read posts from that healing phase. I remember it well.

Truth is, four years after right sided rib resection, I feel a bit stuck in that healing phase...in my mind and emotions. Having rib bone and muscle cut out of my body was dramatic and left me with emotions I am still working on getting past.

The initial healing phase postop was brutal for me because of my nature. I am a very sensitive, type 2 person, always picking up other peoples vibes. I have even been called "touchy".
When I am in pain, my nerves are already on total overload, so any talking, touching, loud noise or movement feels very jarring and abrasive to me. Just ask my husband about trying to comfort me years ago while I was in labor, poor guy. He wanted to help and each time he started rubbing my back I would hiss at him- "Don't touch me!"

However, healing takes time, that cannot be overstated-especially after rib resection surgery where nerves are stretched, things are removed and muscle rearranged. No one can expect to remain still and undisturbed for that extended healing period. I remember feeling so incredibly frazzled all the time after surgery.
Other folks with different natures probably do not experience the same emotional postop healing issues and would take my comments here as overly dramatic. In my experience (and that is what I share here on my blog) that postop phase was traumatic- in fact my psyche has still not recovered. 
Thus, the left sided resection that was recommended, that I realize would spare me from some of the left sided TOS issues I deal with, well it's just too hard for me to fathom signing up for more trauma.

Having said that, my current state is- not too bad.

The long red hair is shorter now. It had to go, too much weight for my TOS neck.

I had additional surgery two years after resection that improved more of my TOS symptoms.

I currently go for ABM (Anat Baniel Method-a type of Feldenkrais) sessions once every two weeks. The mind/body education and gentle movement of this therapy are teaching me how to organize my movements to lessen the stress on my neck, shoulders and upper body. Through this therapy it has become clear that my right side, the side that was resected four years ago, moves more, is free-er, less restricted, and my left side-where I have the bigger cervical rib and still need resection- is more frozen, stiff, and very guarded.

I have many of the common issues I see other TOS folks commenting about on TOS support groups.

Weather affects my pain level.
I have lost upper-body strength from limiting my arm movement.
I juggle a lot of things to minimize the flareup's of TOS pain.
Driving more than a quick trip always leaves me needing pain meds afterward.
I worry about a left-sided blood clot (I'm super careful with that arm when I sleep at night).
I, like most TOSers, continue to seek ideas to manage my life with TOS.

On my list of things to try are; acupuncture, taping, botox injections, Melt method therapy, anti-inflammation diet. My doctor prescribed an antidepressant to help with the pain. I was *very* skeptical and resistant to the idea, but dealing with pain has a way of wearing you down.
I gave in and decided to give it a try. Once I was past the initial startup side effect phase, I am happy to report that I have noticed a reduction in TOS achy pain symptoms.

I take omega 3, B12, magnesium daily. I will be adding vitamin D soon also.

I recently went back to working as an in-home caregiver, very part time, very light duty.

I have gained weight, up two sizes- partly from restricting my activity to avoid TOS pain, partly because donuts make me feel better-at least while I'm eating them.

All-in-all, my life with TOS has its challenges, but they are manageable.

I have found great support and ideas from online TOS groups. I appreciate the people who share their common TOS struggles and encouragement however they can-with suggestions, a word of support, or just offering a place to vent where everyone understands, because we are each living our own journeys... with TOS.


Four-year postop pictures below.
You can see my right resected side is lower than my left side. My neck on the right is straighter also.

The transaxillary scar is barely visible, 2 1/2 inches below the crease.
My armpit is mostly numb, including part of the back of my upper right arm .

 

So that's the scoop four years postop. As always, if you have any TOS questions, don't hesitate to email and ask.

Is this our fate - scar tissue and repeated symptoms post decompression surgery?

http://www.nervemed.com/thoracic-outlet-syndrome-treatment/adhesions-causing-recurrence-after-1st-rib-resection

I wanted to shared some information for all you TOSers out there who've had rib resection surgery.
I believe knowledge is power. If you don't know about these things, you cant stick up for yourself or ask the right questions.

When my daughter and son each had resection surgery in 2004 - 2005, our surgeon told us it was possible they may have recurring symptoms in the future because they were having resection at such a young age (13 & 15).

I think the link provided shows clearly why-regrowth of scar tissue and/or muscle.

Very interesting indeed, for those of us who have had surgery, especially if you have had decompression surgery in your younger years, you need to pay attention to this information.

Interview- The daughter

As promised, the interview with the daughter about her continuing journey with TOS.
For some of the backstory, check out this previous post.  It is now seven years since her one-sided rib resection surgery.

So, daughter, how are you feeling lately?
"Lately, I've been having some pain (in my resected arm) and I'm not sure why.
This happens to me occasionally. I haven't been to a doctor about it in over six years, so it's probably time for a check up in the near future.
I don't want to discourage anyone else from surgery by admitting that I still have pain sometimes, because having that surgery was the best thing I could have done. I'd do it again if I had the symptoms in the other arm or (continue to have them) on the same side in the future."

What do you remember about your rib resection surgery?
"I had my surgery done a month before I turned 13. I suppose I should have been more nervous about surgery than I was. But, I  had just witnessed my older brother go through the ordeal a year earlier.

He came through it fine, so I guess I just assumed that it would all be alright."

"I had one nurse who was relatively new, and tried to take my blood pressure in my surgerated arm once or twice. (*I stopped them!) Other than that, it was all fine. Not scary or anything."

*In this photo, two hours after waking up from surgery, she has a keyboard and is sending emails to her friends. The resected arm side of her face droops. Her brothers face also drooped postop. It went away in a few days. She has an automatic morphine pump in her side. She went home with it the next day and it lasted several days. A wonderful thing.

"It took me a while to recover and stop having pain in my arm. Even while I was still having arm pain (postop) I didn't regret surgery. The pain was 10x worse before- constant and terrible.

Even though it took me about a year to stop having pain (after surgery)- it wasn't the same pain as before. I think it might have been due to my nerves being messed with, or agitation caused by physical therapy? I also had a biking accident two months after surgery... oops."

*Yes, eight weeks post-op, she was feeling good and riding a bike. Cringe.

What do you remember about physical therapy?
"Well, I think it's necessary to help build back up movement and muscle and make sure that you don't heal all frozen up. But I think at times, my PT's pushed too much and flared up symptoms. I'm not sure they were used to working with people with TOS?"

Do you feel TOS is affecting your life now, and if so, how?

"It still limits me. I've had to learn my limitations for doing things.
Had to learn to explain my "mutation story" or "extra bones" to people so that they wouldn't hug me too tight, or hit me in the shoulder playfully, or heaven forbid- try and give me a neck rub!

My armpit/back of my arm is numb/hyper sensitive now. If I ever bump into things or get hit there, it feels like I'm being stabbed with needles. I think a nerve of mine was affected a bit in surgery.

Also, carrying purses hurts my neck. I try and always pull through parking spaces because it hurts to crane my neck to back up. Washing my hair takes a long time, and I wake up every night with my arms asleep or in pain because they weren't in the right position.

I use heating bags a lot on my neck when it hurts. I use a nifty little clip for my seatbelt when I drive- which helps a ton! I even bring it with me when I ride in other people's cars."

Ever get pain in non-resected side?
"I've only ever had TOS-y pain in my non-resected arm a handful of times. If I ever started to get constant TOS pain in that arm, I would definitely have surgery.

However, I would definitely glean more knowledge about different ways it can be done, like resecting the cervical rib, or having the surgery above the rib instead of under the arm.

I'm just curious if other people's experiences are better with different kinds of surgery. The only people I know (you and my brother) have had the same surgery and seemingly the same side-effects, so...yeah."

What advice would you give someone new to TOS?

"Learn about the monster- learn what makes it tick. Your life won't be the same, but you will only make it worse if you resent and ignore it and try and carry on like usual.
But don't be discouraged!
If you don't know TOSers, get to know some!
Get advice and gain knowledge about your options, and find people you can empathize with.

I was fortunate I had two other people to go through this with."

~ ~ ~

*I hadn't thought of feeling 'fortunate' that all three of us have to go through this TOS journey... interesting positive outlook on our situation. We do have each other, like a mini TOS Support Group.

Guess that does make us oddly fortunate :)

Interview-The son

I interviewed my son recently about how he continues to live with TOS as part of his life.

It has been eight years since his one-sided rib resection. He was 14 at the time of resection, and the one who blazed the TOS trail for my daughter and myself.  I hope you will find some hope in the experiences shared here, and helpful information, even if it gives you more questions to ask.

Now for the interview... 

So, son, how are you feeling lately? Do you feel TOS is affecting your life now, and if so, how?

"I feel good. I don't pursue certain jobs-like lifting.  I feel like I was told things to avoid (postop) but because I was young and in shape I have ignored most things. Now (eight years later) it's catching up with me some and I wish I had listened more.  I'm finding I'm having problems with the same shoulder,(the same side I had resected). I think the pain is related to thoracic outlet -I think. It feels like it."

Ever have problems or pain with the other arm?

"To a much lesser extent, I do. I still get some of the same pain I had before surgery in certain scenarios; it's a much lesser degree- bearable.

Is your armpit numb where they took the rib (transaxillary)?

"The underside of my arm is numb, the pit is not. The feeling is 'different' but not numb, hard to describe. It's lumpy."

Would you have surgery again?

"If the pain and ache got to the point same as before-I would, yes. The doctor said we (he and his sister) would probably need surgery again on same side eventually,(because they were so young when they had the resection)."

(Ugh. I had forgotten about that).

Does anything aggravate your arm, neck, shoulder TOS pain to start up lately?

"Oh, standing in line, walking around with my arms hanging down aggravate it.  I've become accustomed to the feeling of some amount of TOS pain, so I don't notice it half the time."

Anything else that continues to be a problem for you with TOS and the cervical ribs?

"Well, no one is allowed to massage my neck-not even my wife. It's tender and does not feel good-hurts to touch those muscles at the base of my neck.
Mainly I just feel limited by TOS because I can't pursue any job lifting. I expect fully that someday I won't be able to golf, etc.  If this keeps up, when I'm grandpa's age I won't be going golfing. Maybe I could if I took better care of my arm.  I don't know if it'll matter."

Any other pains or issues you have now that you associate with TOS?

"My arm aches and tingles if I ignore it a long time."


What advice would you give someone new to TOS?

"Get surgery done-sooner rather than later. My experience has been positive with surgery. 
The night after surgery was the worst of my life; not pain in my arm but from puking, anesthesia and feeling nauseous and tired and crappy. At home (postop) I was drugged enough (the first couple weeks) I didn't feel alot. I recovered extremely quickly.
Remember?... I went to football camp!

Yes, (cringe) I remember.

*Stay tuned for Interview - the daughter, coming soon.

More email questions...

Another recent email asked what a typical day is like for me now after one side rib resection. Some of my reply...

I do not need pain meds most days.
However, I do take several of nutritional supplements and have changed my diet drastically hoping to reduce inflamation.
*Future post in the works on diet, inflamation and their possible link to TOS.

I DO drive, but I have to hold the seatbelt away from me.
I have quality of life, and live without debilitating pain for long stretches.

The deal is, I never know when a flareup will occurr-like a dark cloud that follows me around all the time.

This uncertainty gets to be a big mental roadblock for me to have to push past so that fear does not keep me from living.

Before surgery, I hurt all the time and got even worse flareups!

Now, I feel good, some constant muscle tension in my neck/shoulders, but not unrelenting pain. Some slight ache in my arms at times. (I don't always mind my own advice about posture.)

If I overdo it, say too much driving, or carrying something, the arm throbbing starts in and can get pretty brutal. Moreso on the side that has not been resected yet. It slowly goes away within a day or so.

Flareups of pain have occurred randomly over the last few years since surgery.

It has gone as long as several months inbetween acute flareups, and it has been as little as a couple weeks inbetween episodes of acute pain.

My Dr. said he also took as much of the c-rib as he could, but really just the tip, so I still have most of both cervical ribs.

I sometimes wonder if it might have been better to have the actual crib removed up in the neck, but I did alot of reading on that procedure and personally felt more confident in my doctors transaxillary(armpit) approach.

I've learned to break things down into smaller tasks-carry lighter loads, move a little easier.

I was quite down in the dumps before my surgery and during recovery- you could say depressed. Pain has a way of being depressing, to say the least.

I too was so afraid I'd never get to live the same again-like my old self before the pain.

I am thankful to report I do not have debilitating pain most of the time now.
The flareups do get me down occasionally and remind me I have to be vigilant with all the things I juggle, reading, learning, trying new things to avoid pain.

It has helped me tremendously to feel informed and understand medically what is going on with my body.

I hope that answer your questions.

Take care!

The symptoms continue

I talked with my son on the phone the other day, asked him if his arm ever bothers him now since his rib resection in 2005.
He said yes.

My heart dropped.

"But, he said, not like before surgery.
It hurts sometimes, when I'm walking around for a long time with it hanging down. I still have to hang my hand on my opposite shoulder to relieve the gravity pulling down on my arm.
Only once in a while, but yes, it still happens."

My son was the first one to blaze the trail of rib resection surgery in our family.
My heart is sad at this news of his continuing symptoms, because I know all too well that ache can keep you from plugging into life when it gets intense.

I wonder what could help him now?

Sigh.

"Be a professional apple-bobber!"

"...or a soccer ball tester."
"...or a grape stomper/juice maker."

These are some of the ideas I've received after I tell people about my doctors assesment of my employability at my appointment with him today.



When I asked my doc about going back to work and what I had to avoid he said-

"NO doing any; overhead, shoulder level, repetitive arm motion, lifting, or office work using a computer/mouse. No excessive talking on the phone without a headset."

But other than that, I can totally go back to work. (smirk)

So if you have any bright ideas what someone might do to be gainfully employed without using their arms, feel free to suggest!

What I am wondering three months postop...

Tomorrow I will have the chance to ask my surgeon the following questions:

1.Can I expect the pain (I assume nerve) along the underside of my arm to go away eventually? What do I need to do or avoid doing to facilitate that?

2.As far as my left/non-resected side is concerned, should I be concerned about blood clots, nerve damage, muscle atrophy? Is the c-rib bigger on my left side?

3.Why does it hurt in my back like aparing knife is stuck in it with the slightest activity?

4.How long am I going to have to push through the pain to be active? Is the pain from exertion just going to be persistent and I need to accept that or is there hope yet that things can improve?

5.Now that I've been diagnosed with TOS, does that mean I will have it the rest of my life? If so, what do I need to be mindful of not doing that makes TOS worse?


Thats mainly what I'm wondering as far as my TOS symptoms are concerned.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

UPDATE:
The answers I received were not encouraging, at least not to me.
"Give it more time."
"It's perfectly normal."
"Yes you will always have TOS. Avoid repetitive, overhead, lifting."
"Trapezius muscle needs to be worked on with a 'Therea-cane', you have knots in there."
"The longer people wait to have a symptomatic TOS condition resected the longer it takes to heal and bounce back."

Swell.

The new reality

I've been thinking about the changes in my life the last year. I'm not happy with where they've taken me.
I am not the person I used to be, nor the person I always wanted to be.
I am a stranger to myself.
I hear myself answer when people ask how I am doing, and I cringe inside.
I never thought I'd be the one people sortof avoid because they're so negative most of the time.
I grapple with my truth.
Some people in my small circle would say I should 'speak-forth' what I want and hope to be my reality, not state my present negative truth.
Be more upbeat. Go with the flow.
I want to- want to be like that.
However, presently, I am not.
I am tired and sore and healing and worried and afraid.
My pride takes a beating every time I go out in public and wince and jerk from the zapping pains I get down my arm and into my back and breast bone.
I want to crawl under a rock and cry every time that happens.
I do not want to be that person.
I want to be strong, and smart and capable.
This body just isnt cooperating!
I'll keep giving it time.
and I'll have to work on a new game plan in the meantime.

Pep talk from someone who really understands

My daughter actually gave me peptalk a few days ago thats really helped.

Sitting across the table from me, she said

-"mom, youre GONNA get better. Dont you remember how I had trouble after surgery the whole year in gym class, I couldnt hang my arm down, but eventually the pain went away. Yours will go away too."

Boy, did I need to hear her say that.
See, she understands.
I'm really blessed by my kids, who unfortunatly have both had TOS (& cervical ribs)to deal with.

Several people, who are 'normal' or who have not lived with TOS, have tried to say encouraging things to me during my recuperation. But when someone who has been through what you are going through says the exact same words of encouragement-theres depth of understanding along with an empathy to the words that give them authority to authentically encourage.

So now I'm trying to change my mindset and move on with my life.
Trying to not marinate in my physical situation with TOS, but find a way to keep living.

The pain is not as bad, but still my daily companion.

Sure has a way of changing your life, pain does.

Crooked again

I had hoped with the rib resection that the episodes of torticollis, (a condition in which the head becomes persistently, invountarily turned to one side, often associated with painful muscle spasms) would be alleviated.

Not so, as I am dealing with just such an episode the last couple days.
All else remains pretty much the same.

That hope I've been hanging onto that "giving it time" would bring about the results I'm hoping for is quickly evaporating.

Maybe "it is what it is."

Maybe I need to do some physical therapy and work out some kinks?

I'll keep hoping, for now.

The devil is in the details

Details to follow that would probably only interest a fellow TOS patient...

Tomorrow will be exactly 6 weeks postop for me.
My neck-scalene muscle cramps up into my ear, jaw and upper back,
Right side of chst still aches
Jabber pains in my arm, knife in upper back, end of shoulder still feels different...frozenish, knotted.
Even had a few tingly jabby pains in my pinky & ring finger earlier.
Drove a whole half hour to town today...feelin it now too.
Sore. Though only pain meds once today-otc.
Really thought by now I'd be more back to my old self...doing more, with less pain.
Ready to see the doc this week and see what he has to say.
Not much of an update, same ol' same ol'.
Thats the scoop.

The ripple effects keep on going

I have gained enough weight over the last 6 sedentary pain pill laden months that none of my clothes fit.

I couldn't take it any more and put all the clothes I cant wear right now away and got just enough 'fat clothes' to get my by for 2-3 months until I can loose this flub.

And I have been a little more active recently.
Though every night i realize I've overdone it and I hurt all over.
Especially right in my incision (armpit) and in my back where the rib used to be...up high. Slight arm ache.

Funny thing I'm noticing is I cant fully yawn, a muscle in my neck kicks in and does something in my jaw that stops me, also into my ear there is pain.
and It hurts all the way down my arm into my hand if I sneeze of inhale deep really fast...hurts.
Weird.


The weight I've gained is not doing me ANY favors due to a heavier 'chest'....very big problem for women with TOS.
So ready or not, time to get moving (somehow), and stop snacking so much, and get the weight off!

One week till doc visit, really interested in what he has to say to me about how im doing, if there will be phys therapy...?
Thats the update folks.

Driving, sleeping and mowing-oh my!

So true to my post yesterday, I drove the two miles to town last night.
Driving did make me slightly uncomfortable as it was windy out.
I forgot how much driving, even driving a car with easy steering, can make your arms & upper back flare up. I do wonder if its the stress from driving in combination with engaging the arm muscles that cause a problem for TOS patients.
TOS folks do seem to be more sensitive to stress than most folks, causing pain in our neck/arms/ upper back. I wonder why?

Anyhow, I also did sleep the night through in my own bed...ah, it was nice in one respect, yet this morning my arm is aching and the knife in my back..well, its there.


Yesterday after I posted I did wind up having to take meds 3x, my back up high-I assume where the rib was cut away, was killing me.
I tried to stay busy as a distraction to the discomfort.
Baked a cake. Did lots of dishes.
Wound up hurting more. Took more pills.
Im concerned taking so much pain reliever is not good for me.
Whats the choice?
Need to talk to doc about that next week.

Today, neck into ear pain is slightly there-it wasnt yesterday.
Mostly arm is just hurting, like someone is pulling a nerve through my arm from my shoulder to my hand. Pinchy stabby achey.
So fun.
Right breast kills, so sore all the way to the chest bone.
Hurts to put my arm all the way down and my underarm to touch my side still.
Shoulder muscle still has a hang up, wont let me get my arm all the way up, hurts alot when I try.

Today I look out the window of the farmhouse here where we live and I sigh.
I sure do miss mowing.
Crazy, yeah, but it was always time alone with my thoughts.

I've had some good talks with God, or with myself, over the years while mowing.
I sure wish I could just go jump on the ol' mower and have a god talk today.
I could use a good talkin'.

Now what??

Discouraged today.
I decided to have rib resection surgery because of the arm pain.
Now that I'm weaned down to bare bones with the pain meds, the arm pain is back today with a vengeance!

This blog is not about whining.
It is about recording for my future memory and possibly the benefit of others struggling with TOS my journey.

Today is a bump in the road.

I am a firm believer in being good to ones self when you're healing.
Being gentle, talking to yourself in positive ways.
Today the pain has my thoughts all knotted up and I feel restless and stuck.

I reach for a pain pill and pray for relief.

But most of all I pray this does not suck me down the hole of despair.
I want to still have hope this surgery was good for me, today is just a fluke.

Another restless night

Not sleeping well lately. Very restless.
Started getting shooting pains down the underside of my right arm-they really kill for about 15-30 seconds, like a needle being jabbed down my arm
jab
jab
jab.

Neck kills today.
Not sure Advil will do the trick.
Arm exactly the same,frozen at the full range, hurts all the way down my arm after raising it up high.
Ear pain-connected to the neck pain.

Stabbers in my upper back.
Thats how I am at 31 days postop.

One month ago today...

I cant believe a month ago today I was just coming out of surgery.

I do think I'm coming along, Im just really impaient, and a wimp about pain.
I want it all healed and gone yesterday.

I've gone back to drinking coffee...I'm just SO tired all the time and it gives me a pep for at least a little while.

I am concerned now that surgery messed up my shoulder.

I had NO problems with it before surgery, now its like the muscle is not working, all frozen up and hurts like the dickens when I do my 'walk your hand up the wall' exersizes...ow!

I had hoped the verdict would be in as to the rib resection being a success or not by now, but I'm still waiting to know for sure.

I'm giving it till my next doc appointment at 6 weeks postop...
then if things arent looking better I may go bezerk.

Just givin' you fair warning:)